Easier
by Rosawyn
Summary: The story of Willow in the canonical AU from "The Wish" and "Doplegangland". Set before the events in "The Wish".


**Easier**

Willow could never forget the night the vampires took Xander away from her. He'd told her to run as they dragged him away, but she couldn't—couldn't even move. Two more vampires appeared out of the darkness and came towards her, laughing and growling, their horrific faces lit with the lust for her blood.

It was at that moment that Mr. Giles appeared, cross in one hand and stake in the other. The approaching vampires hissed and stepped backwards. Willow felt herself being taken by the arms and led away, but it felt like she was being pulled away from Xander, and she cared for nothing and no one else.

Somehow, she found herself in her room, lying on her bed, crying. It was weeks before she could sleep without waking up screaming his name, and she never slept through the night without seeing his face as he had looked when he told her to run.

School continued and Willow came, but the pale red-haired figure who wandered those hallways was but a shadow of who she had been. She listened in class, mechanically taking notes but finding none of her earlier joy in completed assignments or shining test scores. She could be seen, by those who would take notice, sitting alone every lunch hour, picking at her food with no appetite.

Some said she needed time. Some worried she might never move on. Some told her it would get easier. Most forgot, ignored, failed to notice—she was, after all, just another student, and she had always been a quiet one. People had their own problems, and the vampires were ever becoming more numerous.

One night Willow was alone in her room staring at the walls. She had done her homework and fed her fish. Sleep held no solace, though it was late. Willow was always tired, and she knew sleeping wouldn't change that.

A knock at her patio door interrupted her thoughts. Confused, she stood up and slowly went to see who could possibly be on the patio at this time of night. She opened the door and looked up into a face she had lost all hope of seeing outside of her nightmares. She felt the world spinning for a second, then all went dark.

She awoke to the feel of cold fingers stroking her face. She was outside on her patio with her head resting in Xander's lap. The door still stood open and he sat next to it with his back against the wall. "Xander?" Her voice sounded broken to her own ears.

"Willow. I'm sorry for frightening you."

She sat up and looked into his face again. "How! Mr. Giles told me you were dead." Saying the words made fresh tears spring to her eyes. "What happened, Xander?"

Xander shook his head. "I'm not dead, Willow. See? Talking, moving Xander here." He grinned at his attempt at humour, then looked concernedly at her and tenderly wiped the tears from her face.

Willow hugged herself because of the cold; she was wearing only her nightshirt, and it was chilly. "Won't you come in?" she said, standing and stepping through the door. "It's freezing out here."

Also standing, Xander grinned. "You're not allowed to have boys in your room."

"We-ell, you're Xander, just one boy, not 'boys,' and besides, i-it's cold out and...I just won't tell anyone is all." A flash of defiance sparked in her eyes and she raised her chin slightly.

Grinning broader, Xander followed her into the room and closed the door behind him. She noticed in the light now how pale he looked and that he wore a black leather jacket which she didn't remember him having before.

"I've missed you, Xander," she said and began to cry again and to tremble.

He took her in his arms and stroked her hair. "I know. I've missed you too. God, Willow, I've missed you so much!" He kissed her then, and it was like every dream she used to have before they had taken him away. She clung to him, scared of falling again, scared that her most cherished dreams were coming true so suddenly, but perhaps the most scared of him leaving or being taken away. "I want us to be together always," he said looking into her eyes.

The tears on her face were now tears of joy. "That's what I want too; it's what I've always wanted!" Her eyes shone.

"Are you sure, Willow?" He let go of her and paced about her room. "There are things you don't know. What would you be willing to do, to give up, so we could be together?"

"Xander," she said, taking hold of his arm, "nothing matters if you're not with me." Her voice broke and she swallowed. "I would die for you, Xander."

He looked deep into her eyes and stroked her hair away from her neck. "I'm a vampire, Willow."

She stepped away from him, terrified and confused. "What do you mean? You're-you're Xander! I know you!"

"It's okay, Willow. You're right; I'm still me. I'm not here to hurt you. I love you."

"I love you too, Xander...but I-I'm scared."

"I'll take care of you." He stroked her hair and the side of her neck. "Do you trust me?"

She touched his face gently. "Will it hurt?"

"At first, yes."

She nodded and kissed him, trembling a little. "I think it will help...if I close my eyes."

He nodded, and she did. She felt his mouth then on her neck, and his teeth piercing her skin, and her hot blood flowing. She felt weak, but his arms supported her and guided her to sit on her bed. "Here," he said, and she opened her eyes to see his wrist bleeding, but his face was his own, so she wasn't afraid.

Taking his offered hand in hers and stroking it gently, she put her mouth over the open wound. His blood was salty and slightly metallic on her tongue. At first she almost gagged.

But it got easier.


End file.
